koshish jaari hai !

It was a cloudy morning when I got a panic stricken call from a man. He said he is an NRI Doctor belonging to Delhi. I felt the voice is familiar, he said he is so stressed that he took sleeping pills in London so his family called him back to Delhi. I calmed him down and asked him to tell me the whole story in detail. He said he wants to meet me , I gave him Confidare office address and rushed to the office. I was sitting on the office chair when he entered. I felt I have seen him somewhere, he was tensed , lost and depressed.  It was still cloudy and a bit dark so I switched on the tube light and saw the man curiously,“Oh he is Doctor Manoj Sharma of the movie Tanu weds Manu. “ I thought and I was surprised to see him at our office, I shook hands with him and said in excitement, “Hey how you been it is so nice to see you here " And then I thought I should not have said that . People do not come to us in happy times and why to be happy if someone is here. He seemed to be ...

A year back it was an impossible task. It was a dream which I was chasing like a dreamer for almost two years. I was serving as a volunteer in the men’s rights movement;I did whatever I was told to do. I followed all the instructions like a good student. Gradually I realized that park meetings are useless and movement needs structures. To my delight I came to know that a structure was already made by the pioneers of movement in Bangalore. I liked the idea of CONFIDARE , a community center for men which is open for two days in a week where men can sit and discuss about their problems and learn to fight back. But it was still a distant dream and I was living with the dream. In Delhi I was alone with this dream as those I thought will come and support me, left me when I chose Confidare. The mere mention of CONFIDARE raised eyebrows and overnight I became nobody in the existing Delhi team. I thought of starting it alone but I got two more friends (Rohit Girdhar and Nishant Sharma) so...

I was sitting at the guest room of DD news with three feminists – a prominent feminist, a male feminist and one more woman. They lost the debate to me on camera so they were insulting me off camera. On camera too they tried same. I was wondering about this male feminist who was so much in support of women but was actually making fun of me, a Woman! I returned with moist eyes, this did not happen for the first time; I had similar experiences at different media channels. Those who go to the media and represent men’s rights must have noticed that there is only one pro men person and others are feminists. Generally media chooses a weak pro men debater so that they can make fun of him/her. If there is some strong pro men debater they either do not allow him/her to speak or just mute the mike. Basically they do not want to talk pro men or about men’s rights,they invite us to add fun element to the show. I had a tough time when a retired judge and a famous feminist started laughing ...

It is your 34 Th birthday and you are not with us . You were around  two years nine months younger to me so I don’t remember your birth. But as I was told your were born on a cold night of 30 Th December 1980 ,9.25 p.m. at Chandigarh . I was told I was jealous of you when you were born as everyone started giving you attention . But I started adoring you after some time . I was a very quiet , shy child while you were social , loud and naughty .  I remember you were fond of celebrating your birthdays and we used to make special arrangements for you. In childhood I remember you to be ill on almost all your birthdays . Mummy used to spend nights awake with you giving you medicines , steam etc . Sometimes you did not open eyes for two days , bronchitis was a problem for you . But you were a happy child enjoying every moment of life  and making everyone laugh. I was never excited about my birthday but for you we used to do something special every year till I got ma...

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPCMUj2XgVc  It was a call from Doordarshan(Government channel) and they wanted to do a debate on men and safety. I do not expect media to do a program on men and their safety so I thought let it be through women only . Going to Doordarshan is like home coming as I left Akashwani(All India Radio) some seven years back .  It was expected that I will be the only one talking pro- men during debate. I knew it other speakers will be feminists . It was cold day when I reached Doordarshan  . I was sitting in the guest room waiting for others to come . After a few minutes entered kiran Bedi , I stood up and said Namaste , she gave a smile in response. If I say I was not nervous it will be a lie, there is background behind my nervousness.      Some 18 years back when I was a teenager girl Kiran Bedi used to be role model of almost all girls. Every father wanted his daughter to be Kiran Bedi . T...

World around you is teaching “respect women”  and it has gone to the extent that men are considered criminals everywhere .This has given an imbalance in the society and created the unfortunate gender war , we are all part of the gender war unconsciously . In this scenario how will you teach your daughters to respect men or trust them . Here are some of the ways to teach them : 1.        EQUALITY  IS AN OXYMORON  – Men and women are equal is the biggest lie we are told , reality is men and women are differently equal . They compliment each other in the inequalities . So teach your daughter to accept the inequalities and respect them . 2.        MY BODY , MY RESPONSIBILITY – The feminist wave around us is teaching girls “My body My choice”  but if it is not only their choice it is their responsibility too . You have to teach your little girls to wear clothes and make -up responsibly . You have to ...

After three years of activism I don’t have a right to talk like a victim . In past three years I have counseled and coached so many men about how to be strong when life is going out of control . So it is not expected of me to be a weak person . But as festivities are around this thought is coming in my mind again and again that who's festivity it is ? I will not go into religious background behind the festivals , life is tough and monotonous so  the festivals were created to break that monotony . What if breaking the monotony becomes torment for people ?                                  There are people around me who are fighting a war deep inside and I can see how these festivals are a big torture for them . But how can be a festival torturous ? I was talking to this fellow last night when he suddenly asked ,"do you feel depressed when festivals are around" ,my instant reply was, “yes” .It is ...