WHY I CHOSE TO BE A MEN'S RIGHT ACTIVIST

It was a regular evening and like any other homemaker i was waiting for my husband to come back from office . He told me , he will be late . It was 7.30 p.m. and the door bell rang . It is annoying for any mother who made lot of efforts to make her baby sleep .Door bell didn't stop , i opened the door and to my surprise there was police at my door . Several thoughts came in my mind in fraction of seconds . The cop , two constables and one lady constable . Like any other law abiding citizen i got scared . The cop started shouting so you tortured your bhabhi(brother's wife) for dowry . It took me a minute to recall that i have a bhabhi(brother's wife )who left my brother some two years ago after a month of marriage.
                           I asked the Cop to come inside the house and talk . he took my phone. He came in but didn't stop shouting . He was asking me bizarre questions which i didn't know what to answer. I asked my seven year old son to go in the bed room . Poor child didn't know whats happening ?Even i didn't know what was going on and why? When i got my senses back I asked the Cop to return my phone which he returned . I texted my husband Rahul and my brother Anurag that police is here . Anurag( my brother) called me and said stay cool but could sense the shock in his voice . Police came to take my husband who was luckily not at home and they could not take me either, may be because of the small kids . My husband came late night as he was away in a meeting . We could not sleep the whole night . Anurag was alone in Dehradoon (Uttarnchal another state of India) , he was apologizing to us that it happened because of him . He was shocked and panicked as it was his love marriage . He could not believe that the girl who once claimed to love him so much filed a false against him and his family . Next morning when i went to drop my son to bus stop for school,  i was already a criminal in the eyes of neighbours . Anurag came to meet us along with two of his friends(satyapal singh and Ashish pandey) and assured me that he will fix everything . He smiled , hugged my kids but i could see the pain in his eyes .  He left for Lucknow to be with our parents who were equally panicked . On the way his car collided with a truck and all three young boys died on the spot . On the very next day we got the news of the tragedy , i never knew that it was the last time i am watching him smiling.
             It was a shock for whole city of Lucknow(Uttar pradesh , north India) . Three young deaths shocked and shaken everyone . We were in a very bad condition . Everyone was telling us that there will be no case now but tweinth day of his death came the notice of 498a(the draconian dowry law) . And after a month of his death Domestic violence case was filed which i came to know comes as bonus with 498a . High court didn't quash the case and we decided not to appeal in supreme court .  Till then we didn't know what is 498a ?Fight the case was on my mind , Anurag is no more but he still has a dignity . It was difficult to go for bail after his death . My parents were the main sufferers . He was my only sibling. He will not go with false charges against him, i thought  . In between searched Internet and came to know about the legal terrorism in this country . There were so many Anurags suffering and there was no law to support them . No ministry to talk about them . There was so much injustice happening around us in the name of democracy .
                    Though i always hated the way women organisations were working but never actually thought about men's rights . But now i decided not to sit quietly, i see Anurag's dead face every night when i sleep and remind my self that he is killed by the biased law and society , who always blame men. Crime and criminals have no gender , punish the criminals irrespective of gender . In my case had it been other way round it would have been a dowry death and we would have been behind bars .
 That's the story of an ordinary woman who became an MRA which people often ask why you? 

Comments

  1. Excellent post Jyoti. Almost had tears in my eyes, there is an Anurag in each one of us. He will get his dignity back, his rightful dignity. Thanks for joining us. We feel blessed to be with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you v much for your encouraging words , together we will bring the dignity of each and everyone who is falsely implicated .

      Delete
    2. dont worry jyoti every sufferer just like anurag is with you n your family to ensure that unjust is eradicated some day..it is gonna b a very big n tough fight but nevertheless it will be concluded...

      Delete
  2. Great post . Womens organisations in India are staffed with divorced spinsters who have never had the blessing od being wife , mother or a grandmother . Their main agenda has little to do with welfare of men , but is more aligned towards attacking me. However they have played a key role in ecposing the dirty side of feminism and I hope that more Indians like yourself wake uo to this dark reality of militant feminism .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes you are right , much damage is done by the so called women right activists and time has come when we have to give them answers .

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. It was very difficult for me to write.

      Delete
  4. May their souls rest in peace. Jyoti ji realy it's shocking matter but nobody in Government or judiciary want to see that how innocent men and women are victimized by the draconian 498a law. how easy it is for a wife to use this case to destroy an innocent man and his complete family. Nobody is there to look at how distressed people are when they contact us (some even considering suicide). Nobdy there look at failed relationships, failed marriages and how kids just become pawns in the hands of unscrupulous women.

    ReplyDelete
  5. yes right there is nobody to listen to the pleas of these men. For the govt only women are victims .

    ReplyDelete
  6. Go Go Girl...we would fight for our brothers and friends....everyone can't be punished for the sake of a few....I am with you!!! We would win our fights :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jyotiji, I should really appreciate you and of course the Man behind u supporting your fight...ur husband. I salute u for joining us in this fight to demolish the gender bias laws and give country the gender neutral laws.

    I almost all the respect I pay my condolence to Anurag in the ray of hope to making gender neutral laws so as to save more Anurag.

    Further I wish Best of Luck for your fight against the bias laws and the misandrist society.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jyoti didi,

    First get the acquittal....We will try our best to give justice to Anurag.... We will try to drag that vampire on court....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dont worry she will pay the price , iam committed to it .

      Delete
  9. Madam!
    I have great respect for women, after seeing the contribution by my mother, sister and some of my SILs and aunts!

    I add you to the list with great pride , some one understands our pain.

    Anurag will be cleansed of this Family Breaking Mafia's false cases one day or other !

    Keep up the good work !!!

    Rajesh K

    ReplyDelete
  10. Women org and media foprget the pain of a mother or sister is not less when they loss their father or son or brother, but they never shown any concern , result the double the men ending thier life than women as per crime bure reprots.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sorry to hear about your brother... I could not stop my eyes to become wet. You are right.. there are many Anurag in the country and they have sisters too. But there are no so many Jyoti.. we need more in this country.. Keep it up..

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very sad to hear what happened to your brother and his friends....It is tragic and my heart goes to your parents and your whole family...

    I also believe that laws should be gender neutral and not in favour of X,Y, or Z. The person who suffers and deserves justice should come to the courts, not other way round, isn't it?

    I was myself an advocate in mauritius where the Domestic violence laws are gender neutral and I have had male clients coming to me with arms broken and bruises on their faces.

    Somewhere, we must condemn all forms of violence against anyone and we must persevere to see that Justice is done.

    Hope it will be done in your brother's case....

    Keep the good work up!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jyoti,

    I read through almost every post of this blog and thru many of ur facebook public posts. Though, it make my eyes wet to hear about your brother and the pain of losing his unborn child.

    Its suprising that you are against female laws, I am a victim of harrasment, may be you guys just think ts funny and not true.

    But, my story started when I said when I said that I will not give up my job just to take care of my Sister in law kids so that she can continue with her job. I did'nt gave my job just because my parents live near and they are able to take care of our child. The result was my husband just left the house to never come back to our rented accomodation.

    Just within 20 days of this episode he filed Divorce. Its almost been 2 months, no replies to my calls, i even visited his ofc he refused to meet me, my in laws have just turned indifferent.

    I am yet not tempted to file any of the cases, since ultimately I will lose my marriage and may be I have already lost my husband, with no idea whether he will come back to me and my 3 year old child, whom he claimed to be his life.

    This is to let you know that not every woman saying she is being tortured is lying.Under law, I have full right to file Sec 125 (demanding mntn for my child), if I do that why should be called gender biased or someone who is just after money. what is my fault, should I truly give up my job just to take care of someone else kids, why why why.. This makes me say, Yes I dont like to do this work, not because I am lazy just because its not ethical.

    They are his sister's kids, I am neither responsble for her job nor her kids. I am just responsible for my family, my kid, my job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You chose your job over your marriage, husband, your all dear ones. What did you expect? They want to just adhere to your lousy protocols? You may be a responsible working women but unfit for a family... Continue as your instincts say. But dont have ultra expectations as such

      Delete
  14. You are free to use all laws , you have so many laws favoring you . Most important ,u know all annwers why you are asking me ? If you know any law favoring me do let me know .

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yes..I had tears in my eyes..di...................

    ReplyDelete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Every time I read your words about this incident, I literally get tears.. and everytime I see Anurag's photo I feel such an emptiness inside.. and such a overwhelming anger.. Thanks for being so strong & standing up not only for Anurag but also for understanding us & standing for us.. As you said we all shall definitely fight & give back Anurag his dignity. At the same time we all stand up & fight for all the Anurags out there.. as I write this I almost feel like addressing you as didi... we will all stand together... always

    ReplyDelete
  18. True story of true victim...
    One message to all law abuser's, please respect country law's.....
    We all MRA's have similar type of bad moments in our life.......
    Be unite and stay united.


    Regard's,
    Abhinatre Gupt.

    ReplyDelete
  19. hello jyoti ji...Rahul sir did give me an idea about why you chose to be an activist...but didnt know about the tragedy.
    i am sorry :(

    ReplyDelete
  20. Speechless ..... you are paying homage in the real sense to your brother Anurag and his friends Satyapal Singh and Ashish Pandey by raising your voice against gender specific laws which presume every man as born criminal and every woman as born victim..... I can understand trauma and pain which you and your parents underwent because of such cases. May departed souls rest in peace..... In fact you have not chosen to become men's rights activist but you have chosen to become human rights activists by demanding balanced laws for both the man and the woman ....Your fight will definitely bear fruits and our legislatures will be forced to make laws gender neutral and human friendly but it may take some time to change misandrist mindset of our society .....

    ReplyDelete
  21. mam i came to this post after reading your tweet. i too had tears in my eyes..sorry to hear about your brother.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jyoti ji......ur seriously gr8....don't worry u have many Anuraag's in ur surrounding....and u have to fight for them.... Anuraag will get the justice one day......me want to be fighter lyk u against this (social cancer) 498A new easy and quick money making policy

    ReplyDelete
  23. EVERY WOMEN, WHO BECAME AN MRA, ARE JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE SEEN THEIR BROTHERS IN SUCH SITUATION

    WHEN WOMEN ARE SISTERS, THEY FEEL SAD WHEN THEIR BROTHERS FACE SUCH KIND OF SITUATION, BUT AFTER MARRIAGE, WHEN THOSE WOMEN BECAME WIVES, THEY DO THE SAME WITH THEIR HUSBANDS.

    WOMEN ONLY CONSIDERS THEIR BLOOD RELATIVES AS HUMAN BUT NOT THEIR HUSBANDS AS THEY MARRY JUST TO FULFILL THEIR MATERIALISTIC NEEDS AND SECURITY

    PROOF - WHY A WOMAN NOT ASKS HER PARENTS FOR FINANCIAL SECURITY, WHY IT IS ONLY HUSBAND?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same is in case of men , they become MRA when there is a case on them . I have swen MRAs who help their sisters to file cases on their husbands , if you know what I mean .

      Delete
  24. Mohit, You pointing at Jyoti is not right. Have you were noticed how many men stand up for women's rights? Last year so many men came forward against the rapists which was good.
    Fight should be against the criminals not against a specific gender and that's what Jyoti is doing.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Its very true and painfull u said very true jyoti every were some anurag suffering from that problem.grt effort keep it up we are with u

    ReplyDelete
  26. seems to me that I am the only one here who has defeated the 498a brigade. Mine was a love marriage too. i had 498a, sec 34, DV and Sec125 against me. She failed to extort a single penny from me.I discovered a trick to fight such cases. Since I had a child who could turn into an witness, she refused to handover my daughter to me at any cost. and i pressurised her with child custody suit, harassing and scaring the hell out of her. she settled with a mutual divorce without a penny. i am happily remarried now and my present wife has accepted me with all cuts and bruises. contact me if u need my advice on any case. i would support u to d best of my ability.

    ReplyDelete
  27. seems to me that I am the only one here who has defeated the 498a brigade. Mine was a love marriage too. i had 498a, sec 34, DV and Sec125 against me. She failed to extort a single penny from me.I discovered a trick to fight such cases. Since I had a child who could turn into an witness, she refused to handover my daughter to me at any cost. and i pressurised her with child custody suit, harassing and scaring the hell out of her. she settled with a mutual divorce without a penny. i am happily remarried now and my present wife has accepted me with all cuts and bruises. contact me if u need my advice on any case. i would support u to d best of my ability.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Dear Ma'am,I almost had tears in my eyes. Anurag is here with us, with ur work, with your fight. He will get his rightful dignity. Thanks for joining guiding us and support us.

    We feel blessed to be with you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

नीलम कटारा बनाम फेमिनिस्ट

India - Paradise For Female Criminals

Media – The New Age Terror