Mother – The real culprit

While I am writing this I feel a lot of pain, not only on my body but on my soul. I was standing outside this school where my son learns western dance. I went to pick him up, it was evening.  When children come out of school , the front road is blocked because of vehicles and there is always a traffic jam at that time which is very common in Delhi NCR. So the road was blocked with vehicles ,while all were waiting for kids to come out. All I could hear was horn noise and I was waiting for road to get clear so that I can give side to the vehicles. I was anyways standing at a side still this car behind me was honking. In India (especially north India) if you are standing behind a vehicle you feel it is your moral responsibility to honk. And when there is small vehicle before you , you feel like King . So here the king car was honking because there was a servant scooty standing in front of it . I thought people honk why to turn back and exchange the hard looks , let us wait for the road to get clear . In fraction of seconds a woman came out of the car and grabbed me from behind and scratched me on my neck. I was not ready for this I was about to fall down with my scooty . I balanced myself and pushed her shoulder and asked,”How dare you touch me?”

In another fraction of seconds a young boy of 16 or 17 years of age started beating me. So now these two people were beating and abusing me and I was defending myself with loads of effort. I was shocked, confused that what is happening and why? I was amazed at the boy how can he just grab a woman of his mother’s age and beat her; I was shocked to see that woman who was supporting him. Finally a man interfered and he stopped that young boy from hitting me and I gave that woman two tight slaps on her ear. In the meantime a 12 or 13 year old ugly skimpy clothed girl came out of the car and joined the mother son. She was probably the daughter. They left the scene, continuously abusing me. I was stunned and could not react much as my son was coming out and I did not want to cry in front of him. I called PCR van , registered a complaint some onlookers helped me to get number of the car as I was not in a position to recall the number . I called people to help me, left my son at home and went to the police station. My fellow activists , husband’s colleagues immediately rushed to help me .

By that time my husband reached and finally the tears rolled down. I noticed scratches on my neck and my bleeding middle finger of right hand. I thought of giving the mother-son duo a good lesson. I went for medical so that a strong case can be registered against them. When a woman reaches for medical, hospital is more interested to know if there is rape or not so the doctor asked me , rape hua hai (Was it rape ?) i replied with a blank face ," No." For them it is normal for woman like me it was insulting. I was sitting there thinking,”why did I come here, this is so humiliating.” When I reached police station with the MLC it was 10.30 p.m. The mother daughter and the father were sitting there. I noticed that they are rich and the man is using all connections to close the complaint against them. I saw the arrogance on face of mother and daughter . She was telling police that in spite of honking for two minutes she did not leave the space to let the car go . I asked her do you think you are some queen or some VIP that when you walk all traffic should stop. My husband asked her ,”So if she did not leave the road you will simply come and beat her? “

She was quite on this, I asked police to bring that boy who dared to attack me. I saw the man (husband of the woman) he was humble; I saw fear on his face that his son is in trouble. I overheard him telling someone do not ask him to come out. His son was hiding somewhere because they very well knew that if he came out he will be behind bars. The father was apologizing and was quite but the mother was still in the air of power and money. After few minutes an eye witness woman came and told police that this woman and her son were the first to attack and this woman (me) only defended herself. The eye witness whispered in my ear ,” Giri hui aurat hai iske muh mat lagiye “ ( do not talk to this woman she is a scum). Before this mother was telling police that I attacked her first and I was amazed to hear the lie. While I was surprised to see the expressionless face , I nodded my head and told her ,” No wonder  how a young boy becomes criminal there are mothers like you and then the whole world will blame the boy , today he has beaten me tomorrow he will do same to you , mark my words ."

After the eye witness spoke up that mother took a back foot and was in apologizing mode .When I was in hospital for medical this woman lied to police that I have beaten her up so police asked her to go for medical which she was not ready as she there was no injury mark on her body. Police was annoyed on the verbal battle, S.O.  was shouting ,”this is so nonsense to solve the road rage case “. My husband humbly said,” bring the boy and make him apologize to my wife.” The father said I am apologizing to both of you please close the matter here. My lawyer called and said it is clear matter of outraging the modesty of a woman and attempt to murder. I came out of police station and gave a second thought, “if a case is registered the young boy will be in trouble, his career will spoil .The real culprit mother will not be touched as she is a woman , If they are using connections I have better connection than them, they do not know me. “Me and my husband looked at each other and then saw the father who was deeply saddened.

The boy’s life was in my hands and I decided to spare him because it was not him it was his upbringing. I closed the complaint, the mother came forward to hug me I stopped her and just said, ”God bless the boy who has a mother like you“. A fellow activist put his hand on the father’s shoulder and told him,” You are lucky that you messed up with wrong woman, had it been a right woman you would all have gone.” Fellow activist said to me,” Your situation is so bad Didi you became voice of so many men and then some man comes and does this to you.” I told him.” No it was not the man it is the upbringing, arrogance of rich spoilt brats. It can happen to anyone there were two females too why to only blame that young man .

Me and husband left the police station , I was sitting in the car still crying on the uninvited events . I was recalling face of that boy what made him so angry? Why he was not compassionate that he is hitting an elder person who is of course weaker than him? And then I recalled his mother’s face that unapologetic  look till the eye witness came up.” It is the mother not the son “ , I thought . If my son abuses and hits someone in front of me it is not my son’s fault it is my fault, it is the wrong parenting. It reminded me of the road rage incident of Bihar which led to the death of an innocent life .

Some people were in favour of continuing the complaint but I bought my piece of mind. The police, the court, the medical examination it all happened four years ago too and it still haunts me . I do not want to repeat it all .When we complain about the generation Z getting aggressive have we ever thought about our behavior before them? What example are we presenting before them if we abuse in a mere traffic jam situation?  The rich and spoilt generation of Delhi NCR does not care for dignity of other people.  They got everything easily without struggle and this is how they are using it. Parents are busy in partying and other stuff they do not have time to talk to children. I remember that woman saying,” She (referring to me) spoiled that birthday party of my daughter.”  She did not care that she has hurt me so deeply . How can children of such mother be compassionate? I will give benefit of doubt to the boy he did what he is taught , "Respect your mother even if she is wrong , mother is great."

That mother needs to learn a lesson before the boy and his sister. The kind of attitude that boy has, he will be in trouble soon because every woman is not Jyoti . And it is quite possible that the mother will bring that boy to me. It is not difficult to search a person these days I know the boy’s name, his identity his address, his pictures, the cctv footage but I am not revealing it .I can do what most women are doing these days but I chose to excuse because the real culprit is the woman who gave him birth and brought him up like that. Stay at home parent is the most responsible one if something goes wrong with the kids . But the court will still believe that mothers are great, they can never harm kids. Here you cannot see the visible harm but harm is there, everyone will bear the harm. Today it was me tomorrow it can be you. There should be some license for motherhood and it  should be snatched at these instances, “You are failed as a mother “someone should tell these mothers. I am blaming mother because I saw the attitude of both father and mother.

I have scars both on my body and soul. Scars of my body will heal up soon but scars of my soul will take time. The humiliation makes me sleepless at night, I cry at middle of the night. I am fighting with the thoughts of,” why me and what wrong I did?” At this difficult time I will count my blessings, the eye witness woman who stood beside me without any relationship, the fellow activists who came on just one call ,the couple who took care of my kids and fed them, my father who validated that what i did were my values and I presented good example before my kids, he said forget it as an accident and my biggest blessing my husband who asked me to write this so that the venom comes out of my body before it reaches my soul. In all this mess I missed my brother a lot had he been alive that boy would have been in serious trouble. I know somewhere he must have screamed ,” How dare you touch my sister! “


Those are not road rage incidents those are playing with lives and dignity .Forgive and forget is the mantra of life, I have forgiven but forgetting will take time till then …….. PEACE

Comments

  1. Very sorry to know that you too have been the victim of arrogance and road rage. Different people have different views about handling the situation as a victim, however very few think of forgiving. Irrespective of the scars You rise within when you learn to forgive... Easier said than done. However ability to forgive separates common to Uncommon.
    If you wanted them to learn a lesson you must let them know you have power to punish but chose not to.
    If you wanted them to know what law is you could have followed your lawyer's advice press charges on outraging modesty and attempt to murder however if you want to subdue your ego what you did is apt.

    Well done. Appreciate your stance

    Krishna

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jyoti Ji, Nice write up. And from all angles that a men's rights non-activist like can think off, you did the right thing. But just one angle makes me think, being a woman and that too at the receiving end of such a un-necessary abuse and naaty behaviour from the woman and her son as well as daughters, you could have got all of them charged with section 354, as it sticks to women as well, but not so well like it sticks to men or boys. That would have made headlines and then mothers (read: women) would have taken the charges seriously enough to bring a change in their behaviour as well as their children's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would have spoiled carrer of that boy , he is just 17 years old .

      Delete
  3. Jyoti Ji, Nice write up. And from all angles that a men's rights non-activist like can think off, you did the right thing. But just one angle makes me think, being a woman and that too at the receiving end of such a un-necessary abuse and naaty behaviour from the woman and her son as well as daughters, you could have got all of them charged with section 354, as it sticks to women as well, but not so well like it sticks to men or boys. That would have made headlines and then mothers (read: women) would have taken the charges seriously enough to bring a change in their behaviour as well as their children's.

    ReplyDelete

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